We are in this together

By Amna

After months of waiting for good news, I gave up and left it all to Allah. His plans are the best for us. The news of my pregnancy came as a surprise. We were delighted and very grateful to welcome a new baby. But honestly, it does have a drastic impact on our relationship.

One new human being completely changes the dynamics of two individuals, especially the mother. The mother loses her sense of self in many ways. This feeling profoundly affects the bond between the partners. During my second pregnancy, I would often stay sick. Back-to-back pregnancies took a massive toll on not just my physical health but also my mental health. 

With my hormones all over the place, I would get upset over little things. I felt lonely and lost. I could not give words to my feelings and would cry a lot. In addition, these pregnancies led to numerous arguments with my husband over petty issues. 

I would feel he could not understand my condition, and he would feel I had nothing to do but complain. We knew they were baseless primarily, but it was affecting us. So I started to keep everything to myself, which aggravated the situation. 

I eventually understood and sat down to have a conversation with my husband. It matters to have a partner who listens instead of having one-way communication.

With time, he became more understanding and realized what I had gone through. I also stopped my tears from rolling down every time and sat down and talked to him about what I expected from him. We came to mutual grounds. It's essential to be on friendly terms with your better half. That way, one can easily express what is going on in their mind and how one feels. 

I often told my husband to come into "friend mode" when I wanted to vent it all out without being mindful of how I spoke. However, these discussions have helped me not build up negative thoughts.

In conclusion, relationships are easy to start but challenging to maintain. We have to compromise and not let our egos get in the way. It hasn't been long for us, but we have come a long way. I cherish what we have now, and his bond with the girls makes me head over heels for him.