Mom story

By Aaisha Why did we choose to marry? After a long time, I'm finally asking myself this question. Some of you might judge me because you think my marriage might have issues. Who in today's world doesn't have it? But it's not that; I'm asking because I now understand why you're getting married after all these years. For us? for the community, or because it is our parents' duty? Because if you see a wedding from an Islamic perspective, it is pretty lovely. But because of how difficult our culture has made it for both males and females, they only helplessly discover that they made the wrong decision years later. In Islam, a woman moves into her husband's home after marriage, whereas in our culture, she moves into her in-law's house. In Islam, a woman should follow her husband's orders and carry out his domestic duties, but in the community, she has to do anything her mother-in-law asks of her. In Islam, a girl can have privacy; however, accordin

By Amna, Haven't we judged someone based on appearance, dress, talk, or behavior? Been there, done that. We are all to blame for this, but we only realize the problem when we are on the other end of the tunnel when we are the ones being judged instead of the ones believing.  We often hurry to make assumptions about others and form our versions of them in our minds without entirely knowing the person or what they are going through. I have been on both ends, but I am slowly trying to bring this change about for myself. I am changing my perspective. I take a minute to analyze the situation before I conclude. So next time you meet a friend or a relative, don't be harsh if they seem lost or rude. In most cases, it's just not their day. Kindness can do wonders. Being kind does not imply putting yourself ahead of others. It means to be genuinely thoughtful or generous to one another. And I can assure you that, like most things, kindness begins at home. First, be kind to yourself,

 By Aaisha Strange but true, handling tantrums, especially in public, is difficult for a mother. Only older children may be able to understand what you're saying, but you can't explain it to younger kids. You also need to justify your attention to the younger children to the older ones, which is sometimes impossible. Does that make sense? What should I do? I also need clarification. Many people advise me to remain calm and manage the situation carefully and firmly, but in reality, my level of anger increases and becomes difficult to control. The way my husband handles this problem at the moment is to grant their requests, which is incorrect because they will do so again and again in front of other people. I remind them that they should listen for "No," as nothing we want in life comes effortlessly. Instead, they should know that we must work hard to achieve a specific goal. My husband agrees. At the time, he wants to get the thing fixed. Even at home, I become i

 By Amna Earlier, we discussed the subject of perfectionism. Since "comparison" falls under the same umbrella We want to talk about it separately.   We all have been the target of comparison, and it's not only present in adults; among children, it's prevalent.  "Her kid is so much better than yours." "Look at how well she manages the house and the kids! " "She lost all her weight right after delivering" "She always appears to be on point."  "You are wearing such a simple dress." Every day, we hear all of this and so much more. We are under constant pressure to be on top of "this comparison game." But, unfortunately, we lose ourselves in trying to prove to others that we can do it too. This undefeated battle of comparison makes us miss precious moments. We forget to slow down and live in the present. Just because someone can wake up at 7 in the morning, prepare a lavish breakfast, be ready before lunchtime, an

By Amna After months of waiting for good news, I gave up and left it all to Allah. His plans are the best for us. The news of my pregnancy came as a surprise. We were delighted and very grateful to welcome a new baby. But honestly, it does have a drastic impact on our relationship. One new human being completely changes the dynamics of two individuals, especially the mother. The mother loses her sense of self in many ways. This feeling profoundly affects the bond between the partners. During my second pregnancy, I would often stay sick. Back-to-back pregnancies took a massive toll on not just my physical health but also my mental health.   With my hormones all over the place, I would get upset over little things. I felt lonely and lost. I could not give words to my feelings and would cry a lot. In addition, these pregnancies led to numerous arguments with my husband over petty issues.  I would feel he could not understand my condition, and he would feel I had nothing to do but complain

By Aaisha The postpartum depression-the dark side of my life When I began researching this topic, I learned that it is never openly discussed in Pakistan and also worldwide. I don't know why people are embarrassed to discuss mental health issues. Physical and psychological wellness are equally important. So, why is it considered a pang of guilt? Postpartum depression has been a nightmare for me. I was completely unaware of it until Aaira was born; I suffered from it for extended periods, which dilated it. Going to a psychiatrist is considered a stain on one's personality in our society. Therefore I never thought of it. By the time I had my third child, I had deteriorated so severely that I was a dead person with no feelings, emotions, or even love for my kids. I used to be highly irritated by others, cry frequently, and shut myself in the bathroom. I would yell at my children and ignore their needs. I became so angry at times that my entire body shivered, and my body temper